Movin' on up...

[savvyarchive]

Well, folks, the time has come. After a rather petty argument with my parents (the details of which I will spare you from) I have made the decision to fly. It is not a rash decision born of anger, or a childish notion unsupported financially. I can afford it... WE can afford it, Joel and I. There are a lot of issues that must be addressed, and quite a lot of things that must be put in order. I want to be out by the end of the year.

We're browsing the Apartment Guide and making lists, preparing speeches for skeptical and protective family members, justifying moral issues, and painting dreams of domestic tranquility.

I'm scared in a strange way. It's not really fear, just excitement and some apprehension. There is some self-doubt going on, some "is this a good idea?" Can I? Will I? Should I?

I feel that I have set a goal for myself now, and even though my mom has apologized (of her own volition) I think it's time to go. The morning before she apologized, she came to me while I was brushing my teeth and told me that I should leave when my insurance settlement comes. I am planning to. Even if she changes her mind and begs me to stay, I will leave. Even if my dad bribes me to stay, I will leave. Even if they guilt me, I will leave. If they threaten me, I will DEFINITELY leave.

We're looking at 2 bedroom apartments in the $550-$600 range, on the Northern Kentucky side of the river, for cheaper tuition and close proximity to work. We don't HAVE to have the 2nd bedroom, but we think an office is a good idea.

I am going to my brother's house Monday, so his wife can do my nails. I'm gonna have CLAWS! Anyway, she will hopefully be a good resource in all of this, because she has been through the same thing. We're so close, and I'm so glad. My sister-in-law is more like a real sister to me.

Well, off to spend some quality time with my sweetie.

Comments

I love you Homey

[jmdtova.livejournal.com]

You know I love you. You know I love Joel. Right? Right. Now, there is no need to get all defensive on me. I am telling you what I am telling you out of love. I am not saying that you should NEVER move in with Joel. I am not saying that you and Joel don't love each other. I am simply saying that in a relationship this new, you've barely gotten to smell each other's farts. I am saying that you should move out. I am saying that although it might seem all peachy-keen now, it won't always be that way. You've had it pretty easy with parents that have always been together and happy, and not TOO much drama in your life. You haven't been through a breakup that involved JOINT possesions or JOINT leases. Let me tell you, Sarah, it's hard. I'm not saying you couldn't get through it...I'm sure you could and you'd be better off for it in the end. But I don't want to see you hurt, or even stressed out. Relationships are a lot of work, and this is a HUGE step with someone you haven't been with a very long time. I just want you to think really hard about this. Not because I don't want you and Joel to be together...because I DO. Not because I am bitter about what happened with me and Guido, because I'm NOT. I'm just saying that even living with HANK was hard, and he's not my boyfriend. Just think, hon.
Now, if you want to get all pissed off at me and not call me for 2 weeks, that's fine. But at least I know I did what was right. There needs to be a certain amount of comfort...a certain amount of TIME that needs to pass before two people can live together successfully. Just be comfortable doing what you're doing.
And this is ABSOLUTELY no slam against Joel. I like him and respect him a lot. He seems to really love you. I'm just stating my opinion. You can choose to listen, or you can choose to ignore me. But whatever you do, at least know I tried to help.
JEN

You might find this surprising...

[quasilaur.livejournal.com]

But I wholey support your decision. I haven't met Joel... and I can't say that I believe this is gonna be forever love lasting forever, but... hell, I was ready to go apartment shopping with Nick after just going out w/ him for 3 months. I have many a good friend that is or has shacked up. Just remember it's a financial investment and have terms of what happens if you're out of work, things don't go as planned... etc etc worked out if you can. Hell, I've got two friends that bought a house a couple years ago and they've practically lived together since day 1 of meeting eachother.

Some things can work out, and sometimes you got to make the stupid mistake. There's a whole heep of pain out there, and both of us know it. You've proven yourself resiliant in the labor of love... far more resiliant than I.

And Nick and I were gonna get a 2 bedroom, partially because of the fact that sometimes you need space. It's a wise choice, and besides, if you decide that you don't want to date eachother, but want to stay roommates, it works well.

Good luck, sister.

Re: You might find this surprising...

[vivaboheme.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the support. That's what I need right now, instead of a bunch of standard spouting about how hard life is. You know, don't you Q? You're right, I have been pretty resilient. And the 2 bedroom idea will be good if things don't pan out. Adult communication is the most important thing, and we direct a lot of energy towards maintaining that.

I understand it won't be loveliness and lollipops all the time, and that's OK. The important part is that we're friends first. And if the situation arises, I think we'd be friends last as well.

Thanks again, sister.

(And if you have any apartment hunting advice, feel free to send that my way... we're making our first visit on Wednesday, to a place right off NKU's campus!)

Re: You might find this surprising...

[quasilaur.livejournal.com]

I don't know what apt hunting is like in the Cincy area... see.. here in Chicago we have the Chicago Reader, which is a free publication that has the most apt listings in the area... and has a great website... http://www.chireader.com that has an apt finding tool. I found 2 of the 3 apts I've lived in in Chicago in the Reader. The last one I found through an apt finding service... but usually those apts are upperscale and will cost you more... going through local newspapers and local newspaper websites... and even if the independent press sites have ads, going through t hem.. always neat.

That's prolly the best I can offer for now... if I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Also be aware that many places might ask you for a cosigner as that you've not had an apt before or if you don't have credit or have bad credit. And be prepared to put up at least twice of the first months rent upon signing the lease... and MAKE SURE you sign a lease. Some shady landlords will try to find a way to put off signing a lease... and that can fuck you over, BIG time... also remember to take into acct that sometimes a $450 apt will have all utilities (inc water) included in the cost, sometimes even air conditioning, and othertimes, the $350 apt will have nothing included... I'm not sure how utility costs are in your area, but you might want to research those so you can estimate what your monthly bills will be... also minding phone bills/cell phone/etc on top of that. Don't get over your head and DON'T ever believe that you can't find a better apt for a lower price... esp if you go through an apt finding service.

This is mostly common sense, but these are things I've had to think about in my searches... so... BEST OF LUCK!

Re: You might find this surprising...

[vivaboheme.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the tips... some of that I knew, some I didn't. Ah, the task I face! ::hand staple forehead::

Re: You might find this surprising...

[aniline.livejournal.com]

Good luck! I was apt. hunting for a while and then just wound up moving in with a friend. Eventually I'll be trying to get a place in NYC. Ugh.

Make sure to see if the circuit breakers are switches or fuses. Switches are easier to reset if you trip something. Or at least, that's what people told me when I was looking for a place. :)

Ooh, and for your rights as a tenant - http://www.tenant.net/Other_Areas/Kentucky/ltguide.html

Re: You might find this surprising...

[aniline.livejournal.com]

Er..wrong link. :) Here's the one for Ohio-

http://www.tenant.net/Other_Areas/Ohio/

Re: You might find this surprising...

[vivaboheme.livejournal.com]

Many thanks! NYC? Good luck. My sister did 2 six-month architecture co-ops there, and she said that the cost of living is unbelieveable. But no matter what happens, NYC is still the best!